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1.24am
What is it about life that makes it
so enticing? Such a simple thing to "just be." It's
such a little effort to let things stay the way they are,
to not expect, want, or push change. Acceptance is the trophy
of intention. Even after we get our way and shape the space
around us, there we are.. in a new space to criticize, analyze,
and augment. New walls to hold ourselves in and view
the world from.
Today I got all upset thinking about the
subtle missed opportunities and rude behaviors of humans.
I pulled my hair until it stood straight up, then took a deep
breath.
An evening with 2 french speaking
"Scrabblers" and 2 abyssinians
and got over it.. it's interesting
how simple things are if they don't effect you.
I should have eaten the Choco
Taco ...
9.48pm
enlightened
lately~
Drawing with sad aching eyes
and spinning words around customers, I feel like i'm lending
my time to sleepers.
. . . but who is the one sleeping?
I used to be so high on philosophy, art history, the universe
[to the limits of discovery I picked up from physics books,
the discovery channel, and my friends collective knowledge].
Armed with arrogance I crossed concepts of the origin of life
contrasting buddha & jesus & the inescapable perception
of a metaphysical existence [where out of body experiences
were as normal as taking a walk to the coffeeshop].
How did I get to this position in my life?
"You're so talented," they
tell me. "You should do something
with your art." So easy to say from the outside
looking in. I look back on the anthill of accomplishment and
the remanant feathers from my old wings and think about all
the goals & dreams I had, how I soared for a few days.
I was so willing to let each opportunity slip away as I held
on to the belief that I'M NOT SELLING OUT. THIS MEANS SOMETHING!
~blah blah wuff wuff'`
It's so interesting.. so interesting how
time slips away. I know I know.. there's always time. I'm
trying to make the best of it. My project plate is filling
up...
Hopefully I can fill these broken links
up with substance, so my two webpage readers will actually
come back.
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